To tell the plain and simple truth
Most times I feel like I’m in the dark hole
I can’t get out of
Happiness, love and joy are all around me
But I can’t touch it, no matter how hard I try
It’s like I’m from another dimension looking in
Everyone is smiling and laughing around me
But my laughter and smiles, I can’t release from within
They’re fake; they are not real
It’s so surreal, the way I feel
There is nothing I want more than genuine happiness and joy
But real joy feels so out of my grasp
My toxic thoughts; they destroy
Why can’t I enjoy the things I love the way I should
Like my family, sunshine, a walk in the park,
and all wonderful things that are good
I pray, I asked God for freedom every day
But it’s like my request goes on deaf ears
At least at times like these, that is how it appears
But good things happen all around me
and I know they are blessings from Him
But me, I’m choking and suffocating
I can’t breathe them in
That’s not what I want, that’s not the life I dream of
Everyday I pray,
Lay down my heart’s desires to the Lord above
I want freedom, freedom from these chains
I want a life to love and be proud of,
Before I go insane
I want joy, genuine joy
I want to be happy in my skin
I want to love the “me” on the outside
as much as the “me” within
I see a ray of sunlight shining through this black abyss
I try to touch it, I try to grasp it
But it disappears whenever I do this
Where does my hope go?
Why does my faith fall apart?
Where is my strength?
Why is there so much fear in my heart?
Am I the Devil’s footstool, or an instrument of God?
Am I a damaged soldier or in the winning squad?
I am more than a conqueror
and I will overcome
I am God’s warrior Princess
And I know where I came from
Victory is already mine
It’s only a matter of time